future plans

Seeking help and advice from others is highly encouraged by me, Especially if their name is Mike. I'm not referring to myself, but I had a friend named Mike offer some really good advice to me. He was a great conversationalist, helping me to realize more accurately what I want and what I should be looking to do in order to accomplish it.

I was looking at the various global studies and international studies programs offered at a few different schools here in Canada. I was unsure about where I should be attending, spending time in prayer about it all. These schools are great and I am going to speak to some people connected to them sometime soon.

I'm going to be attending school here in Abbotsford for now. I know that there were other things on my mind, and they still are. Mike just helped me to realize that it isn't crucial at this point, as all of my credits for the next semester will transfer to wherever I end up. (next 2 semesters if i'm smart)

Thanks Mike for helping me figure out which direction I should embark upon. I know now that this will benefit not only my schooling, housing and money situations, but also my newly started relationship.

Keep on being free with advice. I appreciate it, truly.


~Mike

theological teachings from an unlikely source

I was at work today...not altogether a surprising thing, actually.

During my evening, I was outside de-nailing some boards left over from our Christmas production (just pounding the nails out...not a bad job, actually)

Anyways, I was called by a man that I've met in recent weeks here at the Church. His name is Don. He's a bit rough around the edges, but a nice guy. I've seen him handle himself in difficult social situations by just stating what he thinks when people ask him. There are times when his opinions are shared by very few people, but it serves to keep him in good spirits for not bottling things up.

We began quite the conversation about Christian spirituality. It ranged from the outlook of Christians on homosexuals, to the state of church worldviews. I had an enjoyable time, learning from this man different experiences that he's had in his 50 years so far. I had no idea of the amount of Biblical knowledge he had when I first saw him walking his dogs out behind the church. I know that I was quick to judge, but after talking with him I realized that he really had a big heart.

Tonight served as a benefit for me to be able to share my views and hear someone else's. I find that it doesn't happen all that much in life today. One of the issues that we spoke about was fear of confrontation. We, as Christians, can be very apprehensive when it comes to challenging one another on our behaviours. We tend to brush things over, being silent around the person at best. At worst, we begin to gossip about them with others. Neither of these actions are beneficial. We need to be the person to correct others around us. In order to ensure growth, we must be willing to call ungodly behaviour in others. On that same note we must also be willing to accept correction. With a servant heart we will be open minded to see the other person's view when they speak to us. It is an understanding of Christians that we have all fallen short of God's glory, (Rom 3:23) but we can still be prideful in our dealing with such shortcomings.

Lord, help me to be understanding of my fallings. When people point them out to me, please help me to view it as an opportunity to grow closer to what you want me to be, a perfect and holy person. Please also help me to not judge people based on appearances. I had thought that I was beyond that in most cases, considering the variety of people I've met and learned from/with in my life. Through Don, You've shown me that I'm still not quite there. (haha, not quite, even in my prayers, pride creeps in)
We are such prideful people Lord, and we need to be aware of what we truly are...broken sinful people that are blessed to be loved by You. It is hard line to walk, between depression in our depravity and pride in our standing. We are defined not by what we do or who we are in life. We are defined by You. Help us all to remember that (especially me)



Galatians 6:1-2

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ"

a rant that carried too long

life can be hectic...if we allow it. opportunities can cause us to blindly leap forwards, embracing a new idea.

these sort of actions can be so detrimental to our lives, creating pain and strife that's entirely unnecessary if we are wise.

"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way"
Proverbs 19:2 (NIV)

discovering this can be hard. i've found myself running towards a new goal without actually taking the time to see if it was the appropriate time, or even the appropriate goal.

relationships can be this way too, enticing us to that ideal that we strive for. this isn't a bad way to go, but perhaps some wisdom can be incorporated to create patience. i know that i have been so drawn by the prospect of intimacy that i've been so open and so exposed that the only possible outcome was hurt. being that vulnerable isn't bad, or wrong...it just needs to be in a natural progression in a relationship, not forced.

i dated a girl once that taught me quite a few lessons. she didn't teach me overtly, but in a more indirect way, through our experiences together. in hindsight, the whole relationship was wrong, both in timing and in the pairing of the two of us. in spite of that, God still blessed me with knowledge and personal growth.

we began dating because she expressed an attraction to me. as much as she was attractive, my reasons for dating her were far more selfish than even physical attraction can be. i was enamored with the idea of that sort of intimacy. i didn't spend the time to get to know her, or to even see if we were socially compatible. instead i dove into the relationship excited at the idea of having someone that i could show my romanticism to, and care for. i was seeking fulfillment in the relationship itself, the other person being a mere catalyst for my desire. in no time at all i was caught up in a whirlwind of physical intimacy with the emotional closeness being almost entirely one-sided. it wasn't my side. it didn't take much for me to get drawn back into the relationship whenever i tried to leave. being a young teenager with very little experience in life (even for someone my age) i was easily manipulated through emotional guilt trips and rollercoaster rides of melodrama. this girl was amazingly skilled and pulling my strings and creating a puppet that provided the emotional object for her own misplaced desires.

God called into my life and i realized that i needed to place him in the forefront for my first time. it was an incredible place to be in, where i realized that everything that i used in my life to give me fulfillment brought nothing but pain and a greater need.

i've realized that i was hasty in my pursuit of what i had hoped was love. God has great plans for us all. He has placed people that we can truly love and embrace in a full, pure and complete relationship...romantic or otherwise. i lost my way in my overeager actions. this caused both my and my girlfriend a great amount of hurt that took quite some time for me to get over. i hope and pray that she was able to learn and move on as well.

i thank God for allowing me to realize what sort of benefit these experiences can be. He may not wish for us to go through such times, but He will enable us to learn and grow from them. we are better for such trials, but only if we respond in a Godly way, using it to increase our knowledge and awareness. my zeal is still strong, but more carefully directed.
patience is something that i try to practice all the time (and i fail miserably at quite often)

Lord grant me your insight and knowledge in my relationships. help me to establish them within the boundaries and guidlines that You've set out before us. You have designed the human spirit to be capable of so much emotionally, but it's hindered if it's injured. help me to keep my heart safe, and to use it in a way that you want.

~Myke

do you feel the need to validate?

Everyone, please comment if you feel inclined to. I would really appreciate the response from everybody.

~Mike


p.s. feel free to leave your name as well. i like to know who's talking to me

So I was thinking today...What would happen if the world were to be reduced to an eternal sunset, would the beauty of it be lost as it becomes a normal occurance. With our senses so saturated with the swirls and colours, would we cease to appreciate the magnificence of such an event?

In this life I have found out, through hardships, the unending grace of God. I have been through debilitating injuries that have made accomplishing goals hard, personal contact with many abused and abusive people could have hardened my outlook.
I have stumbled and fallen and stood up stronger than before.

With all of these 'hardships' I have also received abundant blessings and opportunities. I have travelled playing rugby and more importantly, travelled learning about God and doing His work.

All of these experiences have been able to give me a better understanding of the loving, compassionate and creative nature of Yahweh.
I have been given so much by a family with nothing. Another family so readily accepted me while having very little to communicate with.

Through these things God has shown me what He desires...
Love. All encompassing, totally accepting love. We were called to love as Jesus loved, to give of ourselves all that we can plus more. God enables us to do this through His love. It empowers our spirit, and fills our souls.

I love God. I love that He loves me. My life is becoming one where I can give so much and I have more to give because of it.

Lord, I thank you for blessing me with this gift...this grace that I don't deserve.
This is my life. You are my life.

My prayer is that I can bring this life to others, teaching them to embrace the narrow, righteous path that You've set before us.

~Amen

To keep the sides even, I've posted this one as well

This is the customary question that I present to most people that I know, and many that I don't. What is your opinion? Ninjas or Pirates?

Beautiful Distractions


Like a sunrise on a beach like this, God puts beautiful distractions in our lives. Here, in the middle of a frantic run for the bus to Panama, we see such beauty that stops us in our tracks (nearly making us miss the bus). Thank you God for making Your creation so distractingly beautiful. We can't help but see how you put Your hand in all that we see.

the start

I've never entertained the notion of a blog. It's always been a concept that I didn't think applied to the way that I like to write. I've found that perhaps...this is the way to get what I'm thinking down on paper more regularly. (even if the paper is really a computer screen)

Here is my first post...kind of what's caused me to attempt to dive into writing again:

It's intriguing what brings us back. My heart is in writing. I am amazed at the intuitiveness that God has given us in communication. Adam even had a small, lovely poem of his wife:

"Bone of my bone
Flesh of my flesh"

God has graced us with words, these things that we use to convey much more than thoughts and ideas. We are given a medium with which we can go into lengthy description of a flower.



God has blessed me with inspirations as well. Jaclyn is one of them. She has gone through such anguish in her life.

Crippling pain led to the discovery of cancer at the base of her spine. Emergency surgery removed the tumor but was only the precursor to months of chemo-therapy and radiation treatments.



I met Jax briefly outside of my house before they discovered the tumor. She struck me as nice and I was happy to have met her. She was another of my sister's friends. The events leading to the discovery and subsequent treatment of her cancer were rushed and happened without any involvement from me. I next saw Jaclyn after she shaved her head to lessen the annoyance of her thinning hair, which was due to the chemo. She had a very positive attitude that resonated deep within all those around her. I doubt that I could maintain such high spirits in the same situation, but God is constantly surprising me in what He enables me to do.

I took this time to get to know Jaclyn better. We spent many late evening in discussion.about God, cancer, hair care and Mennonite jokes (she had all of them being from a Mennonite family) It was after one of these conversations that I decided to continue growing my hair in order to donate it to make a wig for a child cancer patient.

This time saw us growing closer constantly, with Jax and her mom adopting me as a new addition to the family.

I learned quite a bit from Jaclyn. She had a peace with death, knowing her destination with God in glory. That alone gave me great encouragement, but that wasn't all she had. Throughout the entire experience Jaclyn had hope. Everlasting, earth-binding hope.

"God has the power to heal me" she said, "it's just a matter of whether He will or not. I'll take what I get."

This is the statement of someone with absolute trust in God's plan and will in her life.



After her radiation therapy ended, Jaclyn returned home to Vanderhoof. Three days later she visited again for follow-up tests. In their scans, doctors found more cancer. It was on her brain and throughout her body. After close scrutiny, they decided to send her home, knowing that there was nothing they could do.

During this visit, I went to talk and hang out with Jax and her family. We talked about plans and about how she felt. Her spirit was fortified by the Holy Spirit and indomitable. She was riding on her walk with God. We had our goodbyes and I went home, sad at the possibilities, but hopeful with her infectious attitude.



Jaclyn died yesterday. I found out this morning. I was in a haze that grew progressively more forlorn as the day moved on. Someone from work asked me if I was ok and it enabled me to cry. I really needed it so I went for a walk and let it go. I talked to God about it. I wasn't angry, and 'Why?' was not a question on my mind. Jaclyn left me with a bit of her faith that department. I just wanted to let God know I was sad and that I missed her.

I thanked that person at work for helping me get my cry done and she passed on some consoling words she'd received in the past.

"We're all invincible until our work is done"

Thank you Jaclyn for proving that, and for showing me what the peace of God looks like.



Thank you God for giving me Jaclyn and giving her me as part of her work.

~myke

(Feb 1, 2005)