the start

I've never entertained the notion of a blog. It's always been a concept that I didn't think applied to the way that I like to write. I've found that perhaps...this is the way to get what I'm thinking down on paper more regularly. (even if the paper is really a computer screen)

Here is my first post...kind of what's caused me to attempt to dive into writing again:

It's intriguing what brings us back. My heart is in writing. I am amazed at the intuitiveness that God has given us in communication. Adam even had a small, lovely poem of his wife:

"Bone of my bone
Flesh of my flesh"

God has graced us with words, these things that we use to convey much more than thoughts and ideas. We are given a medium with which we can go into lengthy description of a flower.



God has blessed me with inspirations as well. Jaclyn is one of them. She has gone through such anguish in her life.

Crippling pain led to the discovery of cancer at the base of her spine. Emergency surgery removed the tumor but was only the precursor to months of chemo-therapy and radiation treatments.



I met Jax briefly outside of my house before they discovered the tumor. She struck me as nice and I was happy to have met her. She was another of my sister's friends. The events leading to the discovery and subsequent treatment of her cancer were rushed and happened without any involvement from me. I next saw Jaclyn after she shaved her head to lessen the annoyance of her thinning hair, which was due to the chemo. She had a very positive attitude that resonated deep within all those around her. I doubt that I could maintain such high spirits in the same situation, but God is constantly surprising me in what He enables me to do.

I took this time to get to know Jaclyn better. We spent many late evening in discussion.about God, cancer, hair care and Mennonite jokes (she had all of them being from a Mennonite family) It was after one of these conversations that I decided to continue growing my hair in order to donate it to make a wig for a child cancer patient.

This time saw us growing closer constantly, with Jax and her mom adopting me as a new addition to the family.

I learned quite a bit from Jaclyn. She had a peace with death, knowing her destination with God in glory. That alone gave me great encouragement, but that wasn't all she had. Throughout the entire experience Jaclyn had hope. Everlasting, earth-binding hope.

"God has the power to heal me" she said, "it's just a matter of whether He will or not. I'll take what I get."

This is the statement of someone with absolute trust in God's plan and will in her life.



After her radiation therapy ended, Jaclyn returned home to Vanderhoof. Three days later she visited again for follow-up tests. In their scans, doctors found more cancer. It was on her brain and throughout her body. After close scrutiny, they decided to send her home, knowing that there was nothing they could do.

During this visit, I went to talk and hang out with Jax and her family. We talked about plans and about how she felt. Her spirit was fortified by the Holy Spirit and indomitable. She was riding on her walk with God. We had our goodbyes and I went home, sad at the possibilities, but hopeful with her infectious attitude.



Jaclyn died yesterday. I found out this morning. I was in a haze that grew progressively more forlorn as the day moved on. Someone from work asked me if I was ok and it enabled me to cry. I really needed it so I went for a walk and let it go. I talked to God about it. I wasn't angry, and 'Why?' was not a question on my mind. Jaclyn left me with a bit of her faith that department. I just wanted to let God know I was sad and that I missed her.

I thanked that person at work for helping me get my cry done and she passed on some consoling words she'd received in the past.

"We're all invincible until our work is done"

Thank you Jaclyn for proving that, and for showing me what the peace of God looks like.



Thank you God for giving me Jaclyn and giving her me as part of her work.

~myke

(Feb 1, 2005)